Do any of you remember how magazines and TV shows were pondering over what was the greatest invention of the 20th century? If I remember correctly, I think they finally decided on the paper clip. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but I believe I have proven them wrong. I left my home in Acworth, GA at 11:30 pm Wednesday night, headed for Washington, DC. I discovered that the truly greatest invention of the 20th century is CRUISE CONTROL. Hands down!
You see, I like to sit with my heels planted firmly underneath the opposite thigh. (Have we started sending folks to re-hab for using the term ‘Indian style’ yet?) I have even mastered the art of sitting this way in a dress for any occasion. (Do NOT attempt this in public; be sure to practice at home. And NEVER try this in a miniskirt- NO ONE is THAT talented) This is just the most comfortable position for me to sit, in fact, I am in this very position as I type. Needless to say, I drove about 75% of the trip this way- thanks to great automotive engineers who invented cruise control. It was a much better drive with this feature, as it allowed me to set my speed, crank up the radio, and “seat dance” my way to DC.
I realized that I was slated to arrive in the DC area smack dab in the middle of morning rush hour traffic, so I stopped off about an hour south of Roanoke, VA to catch about 2 hours of shut-eye. This sounded like a much better way to spend two hours rather than in traffic. As I pulled off the exit, I noticed a Hess gas station with a closed Burger King behind it, and a Flying J truck stop behind the Burger King. I figured sleeping in the Burger King parking lot would allow me to be close enough to lights without being directly in the lights, which would allow for better power napping. Just as I pulled into a spot to park, I looked in front of me and low-and-behold, what did I see? John McCain! (well, not him exactly, but the tour bus he was sleeping in)
I was eager to ask the Senator a few questions. I had them all lined up. “So what makes you think that Congress can shut down the First Amendment and call it “finance reform?” Or “If you are elected to President, will you insist on being paid in pesos?” “Why do you call yourself a Republican? Do you actually know what the GOP claims to stand for? Can you define ‘conservative’ for us?” I quickly ran inside the Flying J desperately searching for any sign of a self-righteous hypocrite, surrounded by servants, as he tried to avoid touching anything inside a business frequented by ‘commoners’. No sign of any such person. I decided against knocking on the bus door at 4:45 am, and risk seeing the immediate response of the 2nd Amendment in full usage. Instead, I just parked my car smack dab in front of the tour bus so as to be assured they couldn’t leave without waking me from my slumber. Yes, I got to sleep next to John McCain. (Yes, I showered extra long once I reached my destination!) I awoke at 6:50 am, and still no sign of life from the bus. I was anxious to get on my way, so I hit the highway to continue my journey.
Stay tuned for more…….